reali(s)ies

"you go outside. make yourself believe you're seeing the world as it is. convincing yourself to go out. so you go outside. then see what you think is a hardworking man. with a wife and a young child trailing behind. suddenly you just can't help yourself form zoning out and thinking about what you've been doing for these long years. you realise. you're getting old and irrelevant."


photo:
playa chifron, capachica, puno | peru
september 2015

sole

the earth breaking, young with wily arms growing, 
it reaches up as high as it can to meet the heavens.
and when days number and the earth ages,
it finds itself surrendering
its aged fingers descending to the ground
and the waters that nurtured it.


photo:
brussels | belgium
july 2015

seen buzzing in the foliage sneaking its long pointed beak into the hibiscus
in a frenzy along a roundabout park near the huaca pucllana site in lima, peru

photo:
amazilia hummingbird (Amazilia amazilia)
huaca pucllana, lima | peru
september 2015

misty

with the sun slowly creeping behind the shadowed mountains, a thin shroud of white was revealed - gently laid over this humble valley of three mists.


photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013

southbound

and they flew to the yonder south, hoping that the waters hold riches to keep their plumage enflamed

photo:
flamingos over lake titicaca
capachica, puno | peru
september 2015 

almost

"and it was an almost kiss. i left then you left. we never truly found out what it meant or what it could have turned out to be."



photo:
puffins in skomer island, wales
june 2015

that was

"The moment I saw and felt you in that space, I must have imagined it, but my heart feels the certainty of time stopping for our chances."

photo:

night market in lake jong kham

mae hong son, thailand

january 2013

seeing deep

and contemplating a life ahead


photo:
puffin in skomer island
wales, united kingdom
june 2015

self

there's always that shadow in one's soul that awaits to be rediscovered and found. in the course of my pre-occupation with the demands of modern society's conventions, i have felt that part lost and forgotten. slowly though, a passion for life awakens, and the pieces little by little combine and take form.


photo:
van gogh museum
amsterdam, netherlands
august 2015

to-get-there

at times, one feels that it's time...


photo:
night market in lake jong kham
mae hong son, thailand
january 2013

to breathe

and there is of course the rustling of the stems and the reeds along with the wind's cool swaying of a lullaby that calms a cluttered mind


photo:
hudson river waterfront walkway
bayonne | new jersey
october 2015

grill

photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013

underneath autumn's coloured canopy

photo:
bear mountain state park | new york
october 2015

shifts

it was already evident how our affections had shifted - from a longing for personal warmth to the discomfort in distant coldness. what once we shared in almost likeness of colours and shades had given way to transitions and differences of sights and foliage. we began to fall - away from each other. i started a slow depart and uprooting. you embraced your steadfast ground more. 


photo:
bear mountain state park | new york
october 2015  

de-compose

a love for life and nature requires an understanding and affirmation of the reality of death and dying. 


photos:
skomer island
wales, united kingdom
june 2015

loveyou

i remember the time i almost told you i love you. i was nitpicking with the articles and the verbs, unsure which nouns should fit in to my preludes to embellish the three words of the most common expression of affection. it ended with an unassured quietness. your face, once gleaming with youth and idealism, was wearied and impatient. my hesitations and fear of forever tightened my tongue. i remember when your tired eyes met my fearful mine, and i simply cowered myself back to the prospects of staying within my shell of singleness.

we parted that night. it was the last time i saw you and the last opportunity to be physical and personal with you. we stayed in contact. for a while more until the messages stopped coming and sending.

i remember. i loved you. unexpressed but real. and it stays as a memory.


photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013
    

blank

photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013

delivery

sadness sneaks in. he asks himself how. there seems to be no purpose to his day-to-day dillydallying - revisiting snapshots of other people's moments in a visible public's eye, nature's way of presenting itself in an ever-changing world, the skies in their shifting and contrasting colours, the darkness that still manages to exhibit artistic forms and shadows. he feels a suffering. an agony of sharing moments that are only relevant to him, the public merely an unwitting witness and judge to their likeness and politeness.

he sneaks his gaze outside. he feels the emptiness. the lacks. the potholes in his current life. he measures himself then contemplates - himself like the yellowed leaves in autumn, quickly carried away by the passing gust, to the world's irrelevance.

he finds himself stuck but gradually pulls himself, like the flexing branches of mangroves celebrating their liberties from the vast mudflats of space and time.


photo: 
amsterdam | netherlands 
august 2015