cling

most of the leaves in this quaint neighbourhood have fallen, preparing themselves to the coming winter. here i find myself, thinking that i might still be clinging to the last branch, steadfastly holding myself secure but slowly slipping away to the unknown. a false security to conveniences and impressions, denying myself what opportunities the cold outside hold? is it time to go home? to release myself from the constrictions of social perceptions and expectations? to unfasten the excited child and vigorously explore and take part renewed in the affairs of the world?


photo:
autumn in bear mountain state park | new york
october 2015  

one man's world

experience is one person's monopoly of the own's perception and reaction to matters around and about. this monopoly of experience leads us to capture what matters, oftentimes, at the expense of others. 


photo:
lago sandoval, tambopata reserve
puerto maldonado | peru
september 2015

reali(s)ies

"you go outside. make yourself believe you're seeing the world as it is. convincing yourself to go out. so you go outside. then see what you think is a hardworking man. with a wife and a young child trailing behind. suddenly you just can't help yourself form zoning out and thinking about what you've been doing for these long years. you realise. you're getting old and irrelevant."


photo:
playa chifron, capachica, puno | peru
september 2015

sole

the earth breaking, young with wily arms growing, 
it reaches up as high as it can to meet the heavens.
and when days number and the earth ages,
it finds itself surrendering
its aged fingers descending to the ground
and the waters that nurtured it.


photo:
brussels | belgium
july 2015

seen buzzing in the foliage sneaking its long pointed beak into the hibiscus
in a frenzy along a roundabout park near the huaca pucllana site in lima, peru

photo:
amazilia hummingbird (Amazilia amazilia)
huaca pucllana, lima | peru
september 2015

misty

with the sun slowly creeping behind the shadowed mountains, a thin shroud of white was revealed - gently laid over this humble valley of three mists.


photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013

southbound

and they flew to the yonder south, hoping that the waters hold riches to keep their plumage enflamed

photo:
flamingos over lake titicaca
capachica, puno | peru
september 2015 

almost

"and it was an almost kiss. i left then you left. we never truly found out what it meant or what it could have turned out to be."



photo:
puffins in skomer island, wales
june 2015

that was

"The moment I saw and felt you in that space, I must have imagined it, but my heart feels the certainty of time stopping for our chances."

photo:

night market in lake jong kham

mae hong son, thailand

january 2013

seeing deep

and contemplating a life ahead


photo:
puffin in skomer island
wales, united kingdom
june 2015

self

there's always that shadow in one's soul that awaits to be rediscovered and found. in the course of my pre-occupation with the demands of modern society's conventions, i have felt that part lost and forgotten. slowly though, a passion for life awakens, and the pieces little by little combine and take form.


photo:
van gogh museum
amsterdam, netherlands
august 2015

to-get-there

at times, one feels that it's time...


photo:
night market in lake jong kham
mae hong son, thailand
january 2013

to breathe

and there is of course the rustling of the stems and the reeds along with the wind's cool swaying of a lullaby that calms a cluttered mind


photo:
hudson river waterfront walkway
bayonne | new jersey
october 2015

grill

photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013

underneath autumn's coloured canopy

photo:
bear mountain state park | new york
october 2015

shifts

it was already evident how our affections had shifted - from a longing for personal warmth to the discomfort in distant coldness. what once we shared in almost likeness of colours and shades had given way to transitions and differences of sights and foliage. we began to fall - away from each other. i started a slow depart and uprooting. you embraced your steadfast ground more. 


photo:
bear mountain state park | new york
october 2015  

de-compose

a love for life and nature requires an understanding and affirmation of the reality of death and dying. 


photos:
skomer island
wales, united kingdom
june 2015

loveyou

i remember the time i almost told you i love you. i was nitpicking with the articles and the verbs, unsure which nouns should fit in to my preludes to embellish the three words of the most common expression of affection. it ended with an unassured quietness. your face, once gleaming with youth and idealism, was wearied and impatient. my hesitations and fear of forever tightened my tongue. i remember when your tired eyes met my fearful mine, and i simply cowered myself back to the prospects of staying within my shell of singleness.

we parted that night. it was the last time i saw you and the last opportunity to be physical and personal with you. we stayed in contact. for a while more until the messages stopped coming and sending.

i remember. i loved you. unexpressed but real. and it stays as a memory.


photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013
    

blank

photo:
mae hong son | thailand
january 2013

delivery

sadness sneaks in. he asks himself how. there seems to be no purpose to his day-to-day dillydallying - revisiting snapshots of other people's moments in a visible public's eye, nature's way of presenting itself in an ever-changing world, the skies in their shifting and contrasting colours, the darkness that still manages to exhibit artistic forms and shadows. he feels a suffering. an agony of sharing moments that are only relevant to him, the public merely an unwitting witness and judge to their likeness and politeness.

he sneaks his gaze outside. he feels the emptiness. the lacks. the potholes in his current life. he measures himself then contemplates - himself like the yellowed leaves in autumn, quickly carried away by the passing gust, to the world's irrelevance.

he finds himself stuck but gradually pulls himself, like the flexing branches of mangroves celebrating their liberties from the vast mudflats of space and time.


photo: 
amsterdam | netherlands 
august 2015

lonesome

a candle is spent lighted - in lighted spaces - filling the whites with what could's and what would's. in darkness then the eyes lose their purpose. there is nothing else but blankness - in blanked spaces - emptying the blacks with regrets and remorse of the what could's and what would's.

i saw you figuring a likeness to someone's echoes of being a nomad - of excising freedom from the world's excessive attachments. i never felt it with my empty posts.

would you have loved me if i could have informed you of some intimate delicateness in me that responds to your presence. i would not have immediately admitted that it was love. it could have been a sense of caring, a feeling of comforted convenience. maybe a spark that could have flourished into an ardour of what love might be. what could's and what would's. what might have been. 

and what seems to have happened is losing the flame. the warmth. the light. my vision towards an us had been shortsighted. i am now stuck in my empty place. blank spaces.


photo:
aberystwyth, wales
united kingdom
june 2015 

fall

as he was about to press a first key to start typing his conflict between boredom and enchantment, he couldn't resist noticing how his hands had grown pigmented and aged. he couldn't remember when the last time he noticed, and with the leaves from the old maple-like tree just a view distance from his bedroom window had already turned sullen and brown, it could have been a couple of weeks ago, or possibly a month. a period of fullness. living. greenness. life.

why had the season come to share his feeling of shedding and loss. had he already succumbed to the enchantment of the wild - with the impending winter's bidding to either coop in hibernation or fly away to warmer lands.

photo:
central park | new york
october 2015

as the sky burns from blue

he patiently waits.

for a confirmation of his letters, sent to different recipients, more or less working for the same cause. a same advocacy. a same principle or belief. or religion.

about this living world.
about nature.
about each and every diverse life in this habitation everyone calls earth.

as the sky gradually blurs from its bluish hue, a flame ignites, slowly burning delicate horizon from blue.

there he sits, and still patiently waits.

photo:
wat phrathat doi suthep
chiang mai | thailand
june 2013

directing ways

time seems to have slowed down when waiting for an opportunity to open, relative to how the days fly by so fast slyly telling you your increasing age.

photo:
amsterdam | netherlands
august 2015

sleeping

how the gentle damp kisses and cool caresses
of the heavens
can hush
the lush
of green canopies
and find the forest sleeping
inside gods' subtle embraces.

photo:
doi suthep | chiang mai | thailand
june 2013

quo

he would have continued on the same path.

drifting -
comfortably where the draft makes its sure pass,
securely above the highest rising of sure tides.

photo:
refugio de vida silvestre los pantanos de villa
lima | peru
september 2015

paso de patopampa

on the road between arequipa and chivay, travelers come across a highest pass point at around 4,900m. at the mirador de los volcanes viewpoint, one can find his/her air-deprived soul absorbed in the vastness of this almost lifeless patch of earth surrounded by snowcapped volcanoes that appear ever rising higher.

photo:
paso de patopampa | reserva nacional salinas - aguada blancas
arequipa | peru
september 201

idleness

represented by the gradual fall of the sands,
the occasional flurry of dust over the vast dryness
of time.

photo:
ruinas de pachacamac
lima | peru
september 2015

a golden delta along the maekong

where the long maekong naga allows the intersection of the commons
among three neighbouring collectives
in the southeast asian region.
this golden delta exists -
bringing,
connecting,
trafficking,
living -
along its porous expanse.

photo:
golden triangle | chiang saenchiang rai | thailandjune 2013

letters to you

you start a new challenging phase. perhaps, to celebrate an unwavering belief for nature, an unyielding conviction to life.

you decide to reprise your letters anew.

with hope, you continue with consistent presence. persevere in reminding to see humanity and nature co-exist with hope and kindness, with both preservation and change for positive action.

watch from your sheltered window. read from your well-kept notes and books. write from what calls not only from your mind but with your heart. walk out from your bubble. bring your bare feet to touch and feel the earth, and be one with the world.

photo:
darwin college | cambridge
united kingdom
july 2015